A gift: The capacity to love.

A few years ago, I read a wonderful little book: "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl. He and his wife were Jews sent to separate camps during the horrible Third Reich's terror of WWII. He did not know if his wife was dead or alive (she was murdered). He realized one day in his misery and suffering, it did not matter. What matter was he had known love. What a gift!!! I still draw from that passage to help me appreciate the things that truly matter in my life; the capacity to love.

You're looking at the picture above of my mother-in-law, Shirley. I really should say my "other" mother and a true friend. Shirley had colon cancer surgery over 1 1/2 years ago. It was recommended chemo at that time; but she refused; saying she'll take her chances. Well, it returned - lungs, liver and bones. With treatment; 2 years. Shirley's response: "O.K., I was wrong. Let's do it your way." Treatment starts Monday.

Between Shirley and me, we decided the 2 years given her wasn't enough; "Let's go for 5". Her four daughters don't live close, but they are a loving family. They keep thanking me over and over for being there and for my hardship in caring for Shirley.

Here's the payoff. I'm the lucky one because I am close by and I have received the capacity to love. There's no inconvience. I'm the one that gets to spend time with the one I love.

We're planning now on how to spend this time. So, instead of saying "We should" we are saying "Let's go".

I Love Spring!!!!!

Who doesn't love spring, especially us midwesterners? Spring brings to us moments of appreciation. We did it! We survived another brutal winter. We still love our  spouses after all those cold, long winter nights. We are reborn!!!

We feel sorry for our friends in the south that don't have the dramatic changes of seasons. Oh sure, their weather is perfect all year long.

Boring..

We midwesterners are absolutely giddy when we have one day of the week over 40 degrees. We love the whole world. (Take that, San Diego.) 

I've had the greatest weekend. Nothing that would make the 6:00 news, or even the local newspaper.

So, what did I do?

Well, Friday, I took the day off with my two favorite girlfriends - daughter, Stef and her daughter, Alex. We spent a day shopping and bonding. No  pressure, no deadlines, only fun and sillyness. How could I be so lucky?

Other reasons why I love spring:

• I have so much more energy. I've noticed all my dirty windows - but now I want to clean them.
• I picked up a flower garden magazine at the grocery store and have read it cover to cover, totally enjoying it, knowing full well I will never do any the new ideas I discovered. (Don't care.)
• Walked the dogs until they were actually tired. Victory for me.
• Worked in the yard. Got giddy again when I discovered some green poking through the dirt.

You know, when a person is able to enjoy the little pleasures of the day, life is always good and you are blessed.

We're back and no longer "winter weary"

We have returned from our winter vacation of a lifetime. But first, I want to make a plug for the best travel agency in our area. Four Seasons Travel in Harlan, Iowa did us well. We've never had a vacation go so well. As none of us six have ever traveled to Hawaii; we put it in Dori's hands. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now, we have all suffered from people gloating after they have been to Hawaii.

Please, forgive me because I have became one of them. Sorry!!!

But, I'm not going to talk about how adorable our grandkids are on the beach at Maui. Or the fun at the Luau, or the thrill of whale watching.

My greatest thrill was to be able to enjoy all this with my family. I know many, many people who go on vacations to escape their family. What a blessing to travel with your family and have the greatest of times.

Aloha. (Sorry again, couldn't help myself.)

Mothers and Daughters

This is Lydia. Her mom sent me this picture wearing one of Rubi J's organic custom screenprinted t-shirts. Dana was kind of upset with her little girl for not being so enthusiastic about the "photo shoot". I loved it; for several reasons. Lydia is adorable no matter her mood; and it reminded me how quick our little ones become their own person. It doesn't take long before we mothers lose total control.

Remember what much fun it was to dress our little girls? Just like playtime when we were little girls ourselves.  O.K. When you were little girls. I was raised with all boys. I was unaware I was even a girl until 10 or 11; but, I heard you talk on the playground about the fun of dressing up your dolls.

Mothers seem to have visions about how their little girls should look. All usually goes well until "Princess" finds her own voice. And then; apparently, her voice is the only one that matters.

I've seen it over and over again. The athletic mother with a daughter insisting on ruffles and lace only. The beauty queen that can't get her girl out of blue jeans. Oh, the humanity!!!

My advice to all you young mothers out there. Get your licks in while you can. I know my friend, Kandi, has the right idea. She's having a great time with her girls before they "beg to differ". She wanted a little "bling" for her daughter, Avery.

Now was the time.

My friend

I have a TON of tasks on my "to do" list.

We have a booth to get ready at the "I Can" Woman Leadership Conference in April.

I've found toddler's T-shirts I need to order.

I need to pay my bills and update my accounts.

Our tax returns are ready.

President Obama is speaking to Congress on television.

I'm busy.

Why is it all I can think about is the well being of my friend? She has been tirelessly working to mend and start the healing of a broken family relationship.

We have all had our family issues; some petty, some hurtful and some unvieldy. This is what she is up against - petty, hurtful and unvieldy issues.

She is conquering all. Why? Because she is doing this for love. That's the magic bullit. LOVE.

This is not amazing. It's hard; but not amazing. Working with love in your heart seems to cut through the maze and continues on until the job is done. The only thing I worry about is the drain on my friend. She gives and gives and gives. Let's give her our love and energy (prayers).

The evolution of a "Grandma"

I was born in 1946; the first year of the "baby boomers". All of you "boomers" out there know what a visit to the grandparents was like - sit on the sofa and stare at the African Violets.

We didn't visit our grandparents very often. My father was the black sheep on both sides. I was terrified of my maternal grandmother. I found out, years later from my cousins, she was terrifying to all. My paternal grandmother was a doll. We didn't see her much; but I remember she was the only one who ever touched me. She would pat my check and say how good it was to see me. It was obvious, of course, she couldn't remember my name; but I still cherish her loving, warm hands on my face and the glow surrounding her. I think we would have been great friends.
Mom wasn't the most loving mother when I was growing up. She had 4 kids in 5 1/2 years - no running water - no help - a demanding husband. Of course now, I understand how difficult motherhood must have been for her, so she has since been excused. That being said; I couldn't love her more as a grandmother. I had to take my daughter to daycare when I worked because Mom also worked. But if I ever needed her in a pinch (sickness, overnighter), she was there. She adored my little Stefanie. It brings tears to my eyes when I think back to the memories of Mom and Stef together. Grandma Ruby played and played with Stef; something unheard of a generation before.

Fast forward to Stef's daughter, Alex, and Grandma Sandy. Today, Alex and I go in the dressing room together to try on clothes; "oohing & ahing" over our selections. We hug each other (Grandson, Cole, too) all the time; say "Love you" and laugh over the same silly jokes. (She even asked me to accompany her to the Jonas Brothers' concert, sensing her Dad might not enjoy it as much.)

Do the different generations love their grandchildren any more or any less? I don't think so. We just have more freedom to express it.